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Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over.

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From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

It’s a lot easier for a man to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, wrinkle free 28-year-old, which is why so many men try to go in that direction. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men.

Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER? Before any 40 people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 43..

They tend to be untainted by experiences that have hardened older women. A younger woman seems more willing to let things take their natural course.” — Roger, 37, New York, NY The ego boost helps me maintain my health and vitality “When a guy reaches a certain age, he worries he will see his youth and vitality wane.

For example, when a woman’s been lied to a lot after years of dating, she always thinks that you’re lying to her, too. Younger women are less cynical, and that’s a big draw.” — Alan*, 52, New York, NY Dating without an agenda means having more fun together “What makes a younger woman a good catch? She’s interested in the here and now, in going out, in having fun. A younger woman reaffirms for me that I’ve still got it going on.” — Mike, 48, Orlando, FL Impressing a younger date is easier “One advantage of dating a younger woman is that you can play ‘cruise director’ — i.e., show her all your secret favorite places that she probably hasn’t experienced yet.

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